Zombie Apocalypse

May 25, 2011

Yesterday I had a revelation as I left the grocery store…

While choosing a line to wait in, weighing the number of people ahead of me in each, the number of items, and the content of their purchases as always, I found myself behind a man with the corpse of a chicken fleshy in his basket.

I opted instead for another line with a family and a buggy’s-worth of groceries dominating the belt. This is a situation I often find, and I don’t even care that it sometimes takes twice as long, as it spares me having to languish in disgust, and the obsessive-compulsive thoughts about the cashier touching meat then touching my fruits and veggies. Makes me shudder to think of, so it’s totally worth the extra time.

Also a frequent occurrence, I couldn’t get the thought of that poor chicken’s dead body wrapped in plastic out of my head. Which is when the thought hit me: everyone likes to talk about the Zombie Apocalypse and all this ‘What would you do if…’ and ‘When the Zombie Apocalypse hits, I’m breaking your legs,’ yada yada, but they’ve missed the memo – it’s already here, people!

I’m sorry, but if you’re ingesting dead bodies, you’re already a zombie. If you’re honest with yourself, I bet you even feel like one; tired, listless, maybe depressed, and rotting yourself from the inside out. Maybe your flesh doesn’t look quite as you would picture a zombie’s to (or maybe it does, as switching to a vegan diet is often attributed to a clearer complexion, along with greater mental clarity and physical health), but I assure you, you’re disintegrating all the same.

Maybe one day vegans really will rule the Earth…

(whether by conversion or default, I’ll still take it either way)


Originally posted on Blog.ca under Bird-On-A-Wire on May 25th, 2011 before being transferred here on June 8th, 2011.


Vida Vegan Con is a bloggers’ conference for vegan bloggers that will be taking place in Portland, Oregon this coming August 26-28th.

This is only the first year of the first vegan blogging conference EVAH, and it’s already completely sold out. Luckily there are a slim few tickets that the powers that be and sponsors have set aside to award as prizes (whoo hoo!).

Which is what has led me to a week’s worth of seemingly endless inspiration for the contest most fitting for me – a song writing contest.

I recorded an mp3 on Friday of the second complete song, and this morning I made a video of the first cohesive song I had (though it did require quite the rearranging after I had all the pieces conceived). I previously had a couple of tidbits, but I wasn’t all that fond of them.

I also wrote half of an ‘alphabet’ song, but since the deadline is midnight tonight, I don’t know that I can finish that one in time to submit it for consideration.

I’m happy to have learned not only that I have an editing program for videos on my new computer, but also how to use it, so hopefully that will translate to more videos in the future, in all my various “roles” (including songwriting, Animal Voices, Earthsave, and of course concerts, events and future contests).

My intention with all the songs I worked on was for them to be completely original, and not specific to this year’s conference so that they could be used as an on-going theme song in future years, should one be chosen, and without any copyright infringement.

Here’s a link to the first song, called Place to Be.

And here is the video for the song Vive La Vegan, followed by the lyrics:

Vive La Vegan

We’ll vive le vegan At Vida Vegan Con Where we’re all down To get our blogging on

Written straight from the heart Blogging’s an expressive art It can be serious or light But a vegan blog celebrates all life

At VVC, don’t you know there will be Hundreds of folks From all sorts of walks Gonna come together And put words to this vegan walk of life

We’re gonna blog, blog, blog away There’ll be no shortage of webspace  For you to have your say

We’re gonna preserve this weekend In history It’s sure to be the best The internet has ever seen

 Like paparazzi, We’ll all be takin’ pictures galore And like summer camp, There’ll be vegans on every floor

 With feather-less pillow fights And cruelty-free snacks late-night We’ll be hittin’ the scene And promoting sentient beings

Now, I know the next thing you’re gonna think – “Man, Vida Vegan Con is comin’ up quick – but what I?m I gonna bring??”

You’ll probably want clothes enough to change So you don’t start to smell and estrange Yourself from all the rest At least one pair of undies a day would be best

Don’t forget to pack a brush for your teeth, Pyjamas, and slippers for your feet And something a little fancy For goin’ out, And Vegan Prom dancing

Most important, don’t forget Your tools to get Your experiences out You’re gonna want your laptop to get it all down And maybe an extension cord For when there’s no plug around

Now, don’t be camera shy Photos can clarify The words on your screen And let your reader know Just what you mean

So pack your bags And take a nap if you can on the way No time for jet lag – You better be ready to play

Was that a brush with destiny Or just another vegan celebrity

Don’t play the fool ‘Cause you know that ain’t cool Live without regret Have you got your ticket yet?

I did have a bit of a lyrical fumble when I picked up the laptop, but I didn’t have time to record it again before I had to go to Vancouver to table and network at the Epic Sustainability Expo for my day job (Earthsave Canada), as I was already an hour late (sorry guys!).

Also, I spent a good couple of hours on Thursday night making a Vida Vegan Con ticket, but since I can’t be both in front of and behind the camera, it’s unfortunately not very visible in the video, so here’s a picture of it:

 Vida Vegan Con Ticket

Aaaaand the undies in the video say ‘Blog me’ on them, but you can’t really see that either. I had good intentions, anyway, haha. Uploading the video and knowing it’s now on Youtube is scary and exciting. At least this has been a great learning experience and chance to stretch myself. I’m definitely grateful for that. 🙂

ps. – This probably goes without saying, but though I write songs more or less constantly, I don’t actually know how to play any instruments. At least, not properly or in a way that actually sounds like music.

(Originally posted to Blog.ca blog Bird-On-A-Wire on May 16, 2011 – and the reason for creating this new blog, as this was an incredibly frustrating post that did not have either the video or the mp3 clip in it, despite about 2 hours’ worth of my trying. Thus: I QUIT YOU, Blog.ca! HA!)