Writing Scared

June 10, 2012

I’ve realized something lately. Well, “realized” may not be the right word. More like admitted something to myself recently.

I’ve been avoiding writing. Not because I don’t love it. In fact, I’d say it’s precisely because I love it.

I’m somehow overcome with the fear that I won’t be good enough, that I’ll mess it up, and that it won’t be fun or enjoyable anymore.

I’m already well aware that at times writing can be incredibly frustrating, but I still love it through those periods and experiences (much like I still love my cat even when she bites me maliciously or pukes on my floor). I’m just scared to actually realize a life-long dream. I think I’m worried that once I have, I’ll be left to wonder “Now what?”

The reality is there will always be something else ahead, which is one of the huge draws of writing for me because I crave change and evolution (as my resume of happily collected jobs will no doubt attest to).

Well, I’ve had my leave of writing, and I’m ready to get back into the swing of things and rekindle the wordsmith in me. I guess on the bright side, I have been writing more lyrics lately than I was during the first two semesters of school, which is something that I appreciate and revel in. I’ve also been focusing more on singing lately, but I think I just need to work on balancing these two passions more.

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