The Sweetest Good Night

Time is moving so quickly,
Passing me by so swiftly.
It’ll all be over soon anyway,
So what difference does it make if I leave today?
I’ve lived enough life.
Been bruised, battered and chewed up by strife.
30 years really is a long time.
I think I can see enough from this vantage point
To know it’s not getting any better,
That this isn’t some storm I can just weather.
This is my life: A soul steeped in sadness,
Aching with loneliness, self-hatred and madness.
I’ve always been too scared to jump from up high,
Too afraid of failure and ridicule to pull the trigger on life,
But I think i this may be it –
The chance to really take charge of my life.

Bliss

This third floor apartment
Ain’t gettin’ me any closer to the stars,
But I feel as though
My feet are so far off the ground
And I’m still scared
Of heights.
I’ve been swallowing tacks,
Biting my tongue
And holding out hope
That something good will prevail.
Where to turn, what to do –
Questions are out-pacing answers
These days
And I’m weary,
Blistering
In search of bliss.

Breathe to Dream

Writing helps me breathe
Like carbon for the trees
I take the bad
And turn it into good
Internalize it all
Just like you knew I would.

Trees and birds passing notes
I’ve got this place that no one knows
They’ll never find us there
So leave behind your worldly cares.
This is where yours and mine,
They can unite
And all our dreams can finally fly.

Confidence

Is confidence a choice?
A conscious decision to silence
The voices that run rampant,
Party with a penchant,
Taking much more than their share.

Is taking the staircase
All I need to do
To escape this self-despair?
Can I climb out from this basement
That knows no sunlight
If only I’m wise and brave enough to realize:
There is still a place where the sun shines.

I think that maybe – just maybe – confidence is but a choice,
A conscious decision to silence my inner critic’s voice.

Abuse Reported within our Activist Community

Report: What Elements Make A Vegetarian Leaflet More Effective?

Nerdtacular

Today was the first day of my second year of school. This may or may not be my last year (it should be, but I haven’t decided just yet if I’m going to take two years to finish and do it part-time because I have disability status – which would be easier on me, and should be the easily chosen best choice, but we shall see – or just try givin’ ‘er and doing it all this year).

I’m feeling pretty nerdtacular right now, to be honest. I feel like all I talk and think about is journalism, having just finished a three week stint interning at CBC Radio 3, signing up to write for a local entertainment website, and amassing a small writers’ fortune of books on all things writing.

Perhaps nerdiest of them all, though, is that I will be getting my (I’ve-always-wished-I-had) glasses in the next day or so. Lois Lane results are not typical or expected, but I’m still pretty excited about it all.

I love new notebooks, pens, paper, and binders, and this time of year really IS the most wonderful in those respects, as much of the school supplies I love so dearly are on sale ’round now.

I’m not sure yet if the vertical labret piercing I took the leap and FINALLY had done last night counters or adds to the nerdiness I’m oozing, but at least it’s something to keep me busy with getting used to.

Racoons

For the second day in a row, I was fortunate enough to encounter a trio of baby racoons today!

I saw the first set with their Mama last night at Stanley Park while looking for parking because I was going to go watch the Fresh Air Cinema showing of Grease at 2nd Beach (which I ended up deciding against since I didn’t think I’d be able to find a place to sit once I got there because I was so late). I just drove by these adorable little guys in a grassy area near Lost Lagoon.

Today, however, there were three little babies scurrying up and down a tree right in front of my car when my friends and I came out of the Squamish Public Library (yet another great reason why you should use the library – you never know who you might meet!).

I was also lucky enough to have a camera with me to capture the moment in all of its adorable glory. I wonder what they told their Mom when she got back from wherever she was…

People to Interview

This list ‘o names is both of people I’d like to interview in this lifetime as well as a list of those I have interviewed. I see it as ever-evolving and I’ll just keep adding to it as I think of people I’d like to interview and/or get to interview more people (which I’ll note by crossing their name off the list as I go).

– Leah Abramson
– Adele
– Coco Love Alcorn
– The Avett Brothers
– Ashleigh Ball (Hey Ocean)
– Bob Barker
– Martha Beck
– Isaac Brock
– Bill Bryson
– Kris Carr
– Tracy Chapman
– Billy Connolly
– Death Cab for Cutie
– Zooey Deschanel
– Ellen DeGeneres
– Ani DiFranco
– The Dixie Chicks/Natalie Maines
– Steve Earle
– Melissa Etheridge
– Will Ferguson
– Jeremy Fisher
– James Franco
– Michael Franti
– Rory Freedman
– Elizabeth Gilbert
– Sarah Gilbert
– Ryan Gosling
– Geri Halliwell
– Ben Harper
– Woody Harrelson
– Arianna Huffington
– Jack Johnson
– Jenji Kohan
– Lady Gaga
– Howard Lyman
– Dan Mangan
– Bam Margera
– Elizabeth May
– Tara McLean
– Matthew McConaughey
– Joni Mitchell
– Alanis Morissette
– Stevie Nicks
– Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne
– Mary-Louise Parker
– Joel Plaskett
– Tristan Prettyman
– Bonnie Raitt
– Paul Rudd
– Xavier Rudd
– Serena Ryder
– Jason Segel
– Steve-O
– Gloria Steinem
– Taylor Swift
– David Suzuki
– The Trews
– Shania Twain
– The Wailin’ Jennys
– Danny Wallace
– Barbara Walters
– Diane Warren
– Florence Welch
– Betty White
– Oprah Winfrey

Journalists:

– Katie Couric
– Jian Ghomeshi
– Grant Lawrence
– Will Potter
– George Stroumboulopoulos
– Barbara Walters

Tell me something that I don’t know…

I just had an allergy test that I’ve been waiting more than a month for after a strictly terrifying experience in May that sent me to the hospital, saw an IV put in my arm (and left my right arm swollen and unusable for a week), and now has me carrying an Epipen with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life as a result of an anaphylactic reaction to a Happy Planet Energy Shot.

I foolishly thought that I would find out what foods I’m allergic to, but the allergist apparently had other ideas and tested me instead for common environmental allergens and the couple of foods (kiwi, mango and avacado) that I’ve noticed reactions to in the past.

So now I know exactly what I already knew – I’m allergic to grass, cats and avacado, with a good likelihood of kiwi and mango, since the samples he has available are extracts and he said I would need to come back with fruit in hand for a fresh scratch test.

On the kind of bright side, I don’t think I’m capable of getting a tattoo, considering all my squirming and foot stomping protestations as he scratched my back (and grossed me out). At least the doctor advised against it. Maybe I can somehow work myself up to it, since I’ve managed to get several piercings in my lifetime and survive. I had been trying to figure out whether or not I could get a tattoo soon, so I guess now I have my answer, at least for the time being.

Now I have to go and get a blood test to find out what foods I’m allergic to. I really don’t understand the medical system sometimes… Obviously what I need to know about are my food allergies, so that I don’t DIE. But good to know that I shouldn’t be mowing any lawns any time soon.